NAIROBI, Kenya — In an era where discussions about gender equality and empowerment dominate public discourse, one uncomfortable reality remains: many women, including those who are highly educated, socially empowered, and professionally successful, still fall into patterns of financial dependence. This dependency syndrome, although normalized culturally, continues to undermine genuine empowerment and self-worth.
Across generations, society has conditioned women to rely on male partners for financial support. Yet today, that mindset is not only outdated; it is fundamentally limiting.
It erodes independence, compromises dignity, and weakens the foundation upon which true empowerment is built.
The hidden cost of expectation
In observing modern relationships, certain tendencies reveal how pervasive this mindset has remained. Even women with strong careers often reduce their financial responsibility the moment a man steps in.
A simple invitation to dine out, for example, may trigger an expectation to consume without restraint, ordering the most lavish items without regard for the host’s financial situation.
This behaviour may appear harmless, but it reflects a deeper issue.
Financial dependence often encourages a lack of reciprocation, and this imbalance communicates something profound: it implies an unwillingness to contribute or appreciate. Generosity thrives where there is mutual effort, not entitlement.
Another troubling behaviour arises when dependency drives individuals to secretly access a partner’s finances. Actions such as rummaging through a partner’s wallet, taking small amounts of money, or manipulating financial access are not signs of need, they are forms of petty dishonesty that damage relationships and self-respect alike.
Empowerment: More than a fairy tale
A particularly dangerous misconception persists, the belief that emotional or intimate contributions are adequate compensation for financial dependence. This idea is deeply flawed.
Intimacy and affection are meaningful, but they cannot replace the autonomy gained from financial capability.
When a woman’s primary goal is to rely on a partner to “fill her tummy and dance to her tune,” empowerment becomes nothing more than a fantasy. No relationship built on financial extraction is sustainable.
Men take note, observe patterns, and eventually withdraw support when the dynamic becomes exploitative. The risk of being “dropped like a hot potato” becomes real when dependence replaces partnership.
Beyond survival: Why financial literacy is indispensable
True empowerment begins when women prioritize their own financial stability.
Also Read: The hidden dangers of social assistance and ‘dependency syndrome’ in Africa
Being able to pay for one’s own needs is only the first step. What matters most is the security, choice, and independence that financial capability creates.
Here are the pillars of genuine empowerment:
- Security and choice: Financial independence is a safety net that protects a woman from remaining in toxic or unhealthy relationships simply because she cannot afford to leave. When you can stand on your own feet, every choice you make becomes intentional, not coerced.
- Balanced relationships: Relationships thrive when both partners are active contributors. When financial stability is shared rather than one-sided, the dynamic transforms from dependency to partnership. Equality fosters respect, strengthens bonds, and eliminates the fear of abandonment tied to financial weakness.
- Active financial management; Financial empowerment requires deliberate action:
- Budgeting and saving: Setting clear spending boundaries and maintaining emergency funds.
- Investing: Exploring avenues that grow income—whether property, business ventures, or financial markets.
- Upskilling: Continuously improving one’s skills to stay competitive, increase earning potential, and remain professionally relevant.
Reclaiming financial power
The dependency syndrome has deep cultural roots, and unlearning it takes conscious effort. But its cost—loss of autonomy, diminished self-respect, and fragile relationships—is too high to ignore.
Women must embrace financial responsibility not as a burden, but as a pathway to freedom.
Earning, saving, and investing are not merely economic activities; they are acts of empowerment that shape identity, command respect, and define the quality of one’s relationships.
To reclaim dignity and agency, the journey must begin with one decisive step: letting go of entitlement and embracing the power of financial independence.
